so i woke up.. still drunk and discovered my roommate in the living room passed out dick-in-hand watching porn..
What did u do?
turned the porn up and opened the windows so everybody goin to class could see him..
I'm not an expert but calling her the "hot lesbian" isn't going to coerce her into a 3some with you
He called the drink "The Annexation of Puerto Rico". He wouldn't tell us whats in it but said that we should all fear for our lives. Let's do this.
there was 12 of us, girls included, shirtless and wielding swords as we bet on rock paper scissors in the middle of the bar. It was like Cinco de Mayo version of the Deer Hunter
I wish I could rewind to my 8th birthday instead. I wanna wake up, eat as much cake as I want, and have a Transformers birthday party without someone judging me.
We just for robbed for the second time. I believe the only thing I have left to my name is my $75 dildo
the two person party stopped when i realized that he tried to throw a hammer at my head.
At one point, you closed your eyes and asked me which 'six flags' we were at
Of course I'm not above using aladdin and pot to get laid, this is america
only I would find a long lost relative through a craigslist casual encounters ad
He sent me a picture of his dick as a snake, I'd say things are going great.
If you get me a sex toy for Christmas everyone in my family will question our relationship.
Going overboard is basically 75% of my personality
I'm a gorgeous hot mess
Yeah, but i got vodka and bacon out of it, so it's fine.
The cl.oudds are foaming a really big pen.Is OMG.
Randomize
