we are at a mexican restaurant and the tv is playing mexican porn. dad won't stop watching.
Walking by Farrand Field is better than a porno right now.
How am I supposed to spread my seed with you "modern women" and your birth control?
You fuck like a mechanic. That is the universe telling you that is your true calling. Take this as a sign.
First of all, I don't like eggnog. Second of all too much rum is all bad. And thirdly I'm not there to sit in your lap and pretend you are Santa and I've been a bad girl.
Also while I am being the bigger person I plan on bringing over something strong smelling and/or alcoholic to torture the poor hungover bastard
Also, as my manager i'm going to put you in charge of making sure i don't drown.
be warned: you might find a baby hampster in my bra
Everytime Our professor said "penis fencing" in class today we took shots.
So did I or did I not flash an entire concert last night?
I wound up gambling on giant connect four with the bartender. I think he saw my boobs.
The memory of your penis haunts me. I must learn to be satisfied with lesser men than you.
You were a for sure 10. You put on a traffic cone to meet someone.
I almost rear ended this hot guy driving a Porsche Cayenne just so I could get his phone number
the guy next to you kind of looks like a penguin. i'm going to fuck him
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