do you ever lay in the bath and watch the blood hit the water?
EWW. Don't discuss your period with me. You can go shave your back now.
I saved $70 from being to drunk to go out last night so I figured I could buy a new watch.
I feel like a need a fire hose to wash off what I did last night
Dude... Hand job in the lake... It was as weird as it sounds.
you just kept yelling "siddle that plaza" til the cab driver said it back...
I'm chugging Gatorade because i drank something called a trashcan and someone named Gianna diamond has my credit card number, and I think I might have ruined my life.
Playing basket ball at the park with random people that showed up at 1am. the division of teams is based on what drugs people are on
Hold on, I gotta pump breast milk for the white russians.
how many times have i told you.. they dont like when you laugh during sex
Fuckin wine wasted last night. Found my pants in the toilet this morning.
I'm just mad because I can't play gta5 all day tomorrow cuz I'll be in court testifying against a craigslist prostitute...
I wore heels to a golf store in hopes of getting laid. I've hit a new all time low.
Please don't tell me that blonde guys name is Matthew I won't be able to fuck a guy with my brothers name
Morning! Im using your rent money to snort percocet.
Apparently I was directing traffic outside of Keeneland. Apparently I'm not a police officer. Who knew....
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