Any of you guys fuck a 16 year old again? Because our front yard got fucked over high school style.
so it turns out that "condoms galore" does, indeed, come up on your bank statement
Ever had blood in your semen? I am guessing that's a problem.
I look at sleeping with him as a way to get up in the world. He will lead me on to bigger and better penises.
I dont think that yelling at the medic "Christmas is gone, fuck off santa" was the best idea when you couldnt feel your legs.
our flight took off 8 am and the bar didn't close til 5, so we decided it was a good idea to just stay out all night. Drunk logic is awesome. We were all scared we wouldn't get let onto the plane
Lol. Awesome. Seriously though, I need you focused next year. We're gone have a lot of drinking and stupid nonsense to do, and I don't want dumb shit like responsibility to get in my fucking way.
Why do I always miss the parties you're naked at?!
I get naked cuz your not there
Instead of getting a taxi some gay black guy drove us home. He is trying to break into the taxi business
Way to promote small business.
I didnt want you guys to know I needed to puke, so I just nonchalantly did in my solo cup and threw it out the window
Why put me through the conflicting battle of being happy for your vagina but sad for my vagina for no reason ahole
He fucked me over, so I'm going to do what any rational woman does. I'm going to get really high and have sex with his brother.
He told me to be a woman and make him dinner. So I threw a bagel at him and went out to dinner.
If it makes u feel any better my dick feels pretty tender dude
This girls ass literally just fell out of her jeans in front on me on the escalator. Going commando on a Monday morning is a bold move.
Randomize
