so i stopped by cvs on the way home this morning, turns out hallmark doesnt make an im sorry my friend puked on your friend card, call me if were still speaking
So as she is about to take the walk of shame she flips out. Apparently someone left a brown present in her shoes.
i was focused on more important things... like standing, and not spilling my beer
I'm full of awesome ideas
Yesss you are. Im full of confusion. I keep finding peanut butter on my legs...
I fed him pizza in bed. I'm probably the best one night stand ever.
I'm not asking you to commit. I'm politely asking your penis to be my friend.
Also, any YOLOwl-related sex photos will result in you winning ten orgasms, courtesy of myself, as well as sweets and bacon-based dinner. All entrants welcome
You straight up wore me out. This should be a proud moment for you. It's almost like my penis is asking for a timeout. But not really
im not letting a little injury get in the way of my alcoholic/drug problems. we ARE getting turnt tonight.
Just heard him in the middle stall. Sounded like someone emptied a toolbox into the toilet.
It might look like I curled my hair last night but it's just the jiz.
One of my favorite March activities is cropdusting people while wearing a kilt.
I've pulled 4 ticks off of me. This is the last time I suck dick in the wild.
Yah. I'm gonna lay you down and feed you grapes, except I'm gonna replace grapes for my balls
He ate me out for my sailor moon manga and I gave him a blowjob for his Devilman manga. Pretty sweet deal imo
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