Did you hit it?
Turns out she was a he. but to answer your question, yes.
Every time a song comes on I get sad if glee has not a cover of it
tell me how i ended up in the movie theater alone with a bottle of smirnoff and a bendy straw.
Have fun at school today. Try to hide that you're a whore. The other girls will like you better that way.
I saw him on the jumbotron, its like god doesnt want me to forget his tiny penis
If you go to the bathroom don't ask why there's diet coke on the toilet. Loller copter. Blow is fun.
How do you not remember seeing the kid from our chem lab table and repeatedly yelling "lab partners for life!" at him?
I'm not judging you... I'm judging our friendship
I've got to stop giving the gift of vagina for every occasion. I'm exhausted.
I may have unintentionally punched your cat twice but he's an asshole anyway.
I figured you were on something. You're way too happy right now to be sober
My night has consisted of googling cat penises and creating a Tinder profile.
WEED BROWNIES! He put weed in my brownie mix! And he got it from YYYYOOOOUUUU!
Look at the bright side mom. After 20 years dad is still capable of surprising you!
Shut up Max.
Taking a shit in a Texas 7/11... not accepting phone calls now lol
I just told the bartender to “give me something that will murder me”
Randomize
