all I know is if I don't watch spice world right now there will be a firefight.
Turns out I'm a social drinker... I just happen to be REALLY social.
Just saw truck nuts on a handicap conversion van
question: masturbation: how much is too much? I think i'm about to tip toe a fine line
dude i feel like shit
well u did eat a lot of play-doh
ya i found him eventually. hes the only one who drinks guiness so I just had to follow the darkest green puke trail
a search helicopter?!
He just ordered a bottle of Beam at an Italian place for us to share.
Highlight of the night: paying my cell phone bill at the bar... I need to get laid.
She just kept introducing me to people by telling them which of their friends I've fucked
Hypothetical question. Say I was bleeding profusely, close to your house, and needed a place to go to clean up and perform minor surgery on myself. Like now.
I bet, I woke up to you like naked at 4 in the morning shoving a sandwich in your face
He has a bed frame and a headboard.... That match his dresser and nightstand...
Hahah. That's good.
I feel like you don't understand the severity with which this weirds me out...
I got very very very high last night and bought a cotton candy machine on eBay
Who else has a jello penis in their fridge?!
Randomize
