Her bacne/racne was so bad it was like having sex with bubble wrap.
I think I could pass a breathalyzer. But with like a C.
Don't you hate it when all three people suddenly sober up in the middle of a threesome. Awwwwkward.
I don't care if its bassically 3rd world. A country without a drinking age is a country without a drinking age.
so he woke up after being passed out and yelled that he had brought back moon rocks for everybody...
they pretty much knew i was there to get drunk and fuck their daughter
Waking up in a pool chair wrapped in toilet paper is not what I planned when I agreed to movie night
Why is my fridge empty save for a basketball???
Come over. We're getting stoned and watching DogTV
I was at the pharmacy picking up my herpes medication and the pharmacist asked if I had any questions about my medicine, looked at the bottle, and laughed. Insult to injury man.
Woke up next to a half eaten Philly Cheesesteak. Honestly probably one of the top 3 things I've ever woken up next to.
Going overboard is basically 75% of my personality
I'm a gorgeous hot mess
Orgasms and cereal.... that's what life's about.
So after we found out he wasnt throwing up blood in was just hawaiian punch and we all failed breathalyzers the cop drove us around like a taxi and brought us back to the apartment
I would rather contract a disease that would eat me from the inside out and make me suffer painfully while it slowly killed me than to put myself through the 20 minutes of agony that is having sex with you ever ever again.
I think you're talking dirty but I'm not sure???
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