i just found out that washing ur bong in the dishwasher works. its been a productive day
I have one brief flash of having his dick in my hand. that's all I remember.
counting down the days left of school on my birth control packet.
She was having a seizure right in front of you, and you asked, "So there's no more donuts?"
What's the kids name that was drinking stale beer and redbull out of the blender?
they pretty much knew i was there to get drunk and fuck their daughter
im taking a nap outside. wake me up in an hour.
way to go to work and not wake me up. when you get home youre rubbing me with aloe and giving me a blowjob. no excuses
Its 10:23 on a monday morning and im craving jello shots, this is a problem
I'm basically a mama hen. I keep them warm and let them wonder around the house. not to mention, I keep eye on them just in case the falcons around the house try to snatch them away.
I don't even know what to say right now
The cab driver just showed us a POV shot of himself getting ridden by a chick he took with his flip phone. Confirmed not taken in cab. Gonna be a good night...
Me too. We could do it like prostitutes. No kissing on the mouth.
I got frustrated so I just stood up and said take me to bed or lose me forever and banged the first guy who responded show me the way home. Thank you Top Gun.
Ugh why can't people just be grateful for my penis
It was probably the most embarrassing moment of my life. But I had cleavage, so I'm good!
Why would I want a relationship when I’m the side dick for my boss and a few women from the gym
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