I'm cheating on the girl I'm cheating on my girlfriend with
I wonder if all of the nights I blacked out will be revealed to me when I die. Have you ever thought about that?
The guy in the library beside me just whipped out an entire loaf of bread, a knife and a container of peanut butter and is proceeding to make multiple sandwiches.
I already brushed my teeth, and it's not even noon yet. Today's going to be a productive day.
while you laid on the ground I poured water into your mouth out of dog bowl some random guy walks by and said now that's what I like to see.
I miss the smell of you or some shit.
What do you think french fries on pizza would taste like?
i already know. Delicious. Use ranch.
I'm thinking he has to buy me dinner at least twice before i even start considering casting him for "Fuck buddy - understudy."
I got home and laid by the toilet and then alexa laid in the bathtub and sang the preamble while kayla held my hair
I can't. I think his penis is about to take out a restraining order against me.
I could definitely fill a shot glass w my cum
please don't
I'm not finished with being a sloppy white girl alcoholic. I didn't postpone having a husband and kids for sober weekends.
You left me a drunk voicemail of you describing your pizza to me at 2 AM
Did I put a bunch of spaghetti on you and then eat it off?!?
That you did
Double dirt bag award winner tonight. He picked me up in his wife's car.
Randomize
