ok so the lil girl sitting behind u was picking the hairs off ur sisters back and putting them in her mouth
Jeremys mom is here. I gave her mad jello shots and now were griding. ima give it to her: ultimate payback for him fucking my gf.
i stapled my math hw together with an ear ring, too ghetto?
Oh please. You given/recieved a handjob out in public. I think that shy ship has sailed.
drunk me is my new role model. he's fearless. like not even afraid of tornadoes.
Also you were throwing your phone yelling this is durable as shit
This conversation has now reached a level of awkward that even a passerby streaking hobo couldn't break.
There's holes in the drywall and the beer pong table is a broken door on two barstools. You know they like to party.
I have to have sex on a bidet. I'm not sure what kind, but it's reason #4 for an Italian vacation!
Last thing I remember was a hand in the pants. Then I woke up next to a full beer and a McDouble, which I promptly had for breakfast.
EW FUCK GROSS GODDAMMIT I WENT DOWNSTAIRS AND MY GODDAMN BROTHER WAS FINGERING SOME GIRL ON THE FLOOR DOESN'T HE KNOW HE FUCKING LIVES WITH PEOPLE
FUCKIN BIRDS ARE CHIRPING AT 4 IN THE MORNING. THE SUN ISN'T RISING YET MOTHERFUCKERS, GO BACK TO YOUR NESTS.
well at least you got laid last nighT. I woke up on a pile of laundry
Drugs and unwanted pregnancies are the only things that I'm good at. College comes in at a close third.
So my step mom just informed me she tells stories about me at work as a form of birth control for the girls that work there, not sure if i should be offended or proud.
Randomize
