I walked up to her and said hello and wanted to ask her if she had fun last night... she asked me if we had met before.
You know, Peter Parker would not have been nearly as cool if he had gotten bitten by an ant.
Why did you take off so early
No more beer. And also. Threesome. Maybe. Ill let you know.
His sex texting was like a step by step guide to the most boring sex ever...
she is the kim kardashian of front butts
In Canada she would be a 10 but here in America she's only a 7
You know what is really helpful - when the two guys you want to fuck stand next to each other. Stay tuned for who wins
The guy I wanted to make out with just got beat up, let's roll.
She thinks I come over for the sex, but I really come for the snacks.
I feel like calling off tonight. Is a strong desire for masturbation a valid reason?
No one should ever have to Neosporin their nipples. At least he apologized.
No we don't really celebrate valentines day, we just use it as an excuse to drink 3 bottles of red wine and fuck for a few hours.
Instead of saying hi she asked if she could touch your dick through your ski bib and NOW I understand why you wore it to the bars
There's a dryer on fire at the laundromat, and everyone's just standing around taking pictures. Except me. I'm texting.
The guy whose house were at is drunkenly reading green eggs and ham to us in German
Randomize
