She made the grapes disappear! ALL OF THEM!!!
i just shoved 27 marshmallows in my mouth
well thats a nice change of pace from what you normally put in your mouth
You tried to convince her that if she gave you head she'd hear the ocean.....
how many days can you live off of Vicodin and frosty?? im going on 4 days......
i felt obligated to tell him happy birthday since we trashed his house and i fucked his friend in his basement
Do you remember trying to eat gravel when we were walking back to the dorm?
He was eating mac and cheese. Raw. Like as in he was eating the uncooked noodles then pouring the dry cheese in his mouth.
as we waited for a manager to come open the door that we broke while having sex on the wall, we decided to go round two in the hallway before he came back.. god i love hotels.
My summer fucks are coming back to haunt me with a vengeance.
Kegstand on crutches, you need to get on my level.
Can we have a celebratory fuck now that the lockout is over?
You're the best girlfriend ever.
I have good news and bad news. Bad news, she's not in porn. Good news, I found porn.
I think I got a sinus infection from puking out my nose on st. Patricks day #thisis26
I guess the weekly d&d orgies are treating you well
Hope everything goes ok. If it makes you feel better, I straightened vomit into my hair and killed a bird earlier.
Randomize
