he kept bringing up different times we had sex and i wouldnt say anything back. i would never confirm nor deny the situation...like a politician ya kno
We totally just fucked in a closet. These vacations with his family are causing creativity I never thought I had.
I had to throw a towel over the bottles cuz it hurts to look at them
His blow is so strong I threw up. Buy it. I'm in nursing school I know what I'm talking about.
Was rudely woken up by strangers at 4:15am. I was leaning against the stoplight at 9th
She just started grabbing all the hospital's rubber gloves and face masks and shoving them in her purse, saying, "My tax money paid for these!"
We played strip Bananagrams and I won. Thank fuck I read a lot as a child.
Casually brushing the Bacardi out of my hair. It's a good time to ponder regretting everything that happened last night.
NOLA update. Went to Corey Smith at the house of blues last night. Drank PBR and took lots of shots of Jack. Too drunk, cabbed it to the hotel and fell asleep while having sex. Not my finest moment. Now I'm in court. I can't wait to be your attorney.
I haven't even had my coffee yet and you're being slutastic
GUESS WHOSE BEST FRIEND IS OUT OF PRISON!
I TAUGHT HER CAT TO SIT. CATS DON'T FUCKING SIT ON COMMAND. BUT THIS ONE DID!
It's basically my crowning achievement.
Look fucker, my sensibility and attention to detail is the ONLY REASON you're not dead now
According to the rule of quantum porn mechanics, the mere thought of something kinky causes it to exist. So out there, somewhere, there is already riddler/smurf porn...
Hot or not, she’s from Boston. It’s hard to nut when she sounds like Mark Wahlberg
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