He spelled "beautiful" wrong in his text
He looks like Ryan Reynolds from this angle
Since when is drunk an angle?
well someone pooped in the lint basket in the laundry room last night, but none of us will admit to it so we're all just secretly judging each other and doubting ourselves.
Your cock is gonna weep like a baby
It's just good to know that when I drink like a twenty year old I still act like one.
I shit myself. Legit. And I burnt my tongue. Unrelated incidents, but related in the sense of general discomfort.
THIS IS NO TIME FOR SHAME JOSH. JUST GOTTA GET IT IN. PURELY FOR LEVELING UP PURPOSES
I'm going as either a recovering alcoholic, or as a guy who came to the party straight from work. Too literal?
My life has become one weird ass game. No one wins. No one loses. We all just kind of hang in limbo and hope we don't die. Eskimo sisters for life. Please have sex with one of them.
too late I already started a fight with someone named luscious
Dude my pants were only on for 20 minutes after she got there.
That's 30 minutes too many.
How my distance relationship is going: he's trying to sext me & I'm stuffing pizza in my face.
Roomies told me I showed up to my house alone with no pants on and burrs in my hair... I live in the middle of the city
She said I can't embarrass her, the challenge has been set
Give me the sexing that I truly desire and I will reveal to you the mysterious location of the PBR's
Randomize
