Having him eat chocolate out of you is not as romantic as it sounds. I'm still finding pieces.
Decided against hooking up with creepy stalker guy for a ride to work. I feel I've earned a few self respect points back.
Ya but I plan to getting arrested more towards the end of summer
I used to be terrified of what was under your bed until I passed out there last night. Now it just feels like home.
When were you at my house?
Imagine cans of beer raining. Like not hitting you and hurting you. Just gently falling into your hand whenever you're sad
Honesty, no. I just want to shower you with hot dogs.
I vote we get high and sneak off to McDonald's to get mcflurries.
YES. ALL MY YES.
all i know is there's a picture on my phone of him wearing my purple sweatpants and licking the bottom of my foot.
Not going to lie: not even the fact I'm wearing men's cargo pants can hide the fact I have an awesome ass.
Just realized I chose a bacon cheeseburger over sex last night
Your cousin just directly asked you for nudes
You can tell by the way he cuddles that he's got mommy issues
He looked so uninterested when the stripper was slapping him. Now his roommates are harassing me about how crazy our sex must be.
I watched one of the videos of you hanging from the rafters, and it is both violent and sexual in nature.
Let me set the mood for you. Do you remember Britney Spears in her Hit Me Baby One More Time era? Well I just fucked this college girl I shit you not her name is Persephone and she looks exactly like Britney Spears back when she was hot. I might be in love.
Randomize
