this is like her 8th guy since december, is she wasn't frumpy people would call her a whore
WHO ATE OUR COOKIES WHAT THE FUCK THOSE WERE GOURMET
May God have mercy on my new vibrator.
Dude. I have been looking at your movie history on netflix and it is like looking at the rings of a tree. Only instead of telling me how old you are, it tells me when you were stoned.
he was playing drums on rock band as i poured bailey's into his mouth. tell me that's not a bonding moment.
Found out why they call her Halfpipe Jenny-NOT the cool reason we thought
Exactly, finding that perfect flask to come with you on all your adventures is like finding the perfect wedding dress. You have to feel it.
If it involves mee putting on a bra and discontinuing my 11 am drinking my answer is a polite fuck YOU
I never woulda thought that back in kindergarten playong kickball that'd i'd be 24 getting plastered in front of the white house and winning a kickball championship in a young adult drinking league
So I found a skull ring inside me this morning. I'm assuming its yours, so I'll leave it in my mailbox for you - it looks expensive.
He asked her to marry him and she said yes. There is NO WAY she knows about his penchant for wearing lingerie.
Fuck. I have to get my shit together by lunch. Mission impossible.
Listen man, there's two things I know about in life: porn and sound. On a day that I'm wearing khakis, I need you to trust that I know what the fuck I'm doing.
Nows a good time to tell him. Just be like "yeah, I used to bang her too and it didn't work out for us either". He'll understand.
What's a professional way to say get your shit in gear?
Randomize
