I looked up to you, until I saw her walk out of your room.
ok please explain why some one shaved half of my pubes?
we ended up doing shots out of those medicine cups..swine flu finally did something good for me
So he thinks I sent him a picture of my boob last night, but it was really just a close up of my arm.
Hes the only one i know who can talk to a girl for an entire hour abuot the science in starwars and still get laid.
do you remember the combo for the lock to my pants?
I think we should take up crocheing or stamp collecting....something completely lacking penises
i stole nothing, broke nothing, and stabbed nothing. aren't you proud of me?
To be clear, the next time I wake up with your dick inside me, I will reach down and grab one and squeeze until it pops like a grape. You've been warned.
Eating a grilled cheese at a strip club... good idea??
You also thought the cure to hiccups was drowning yourself (and you were right)
Can you send me the pictures of me riding the penis
He said that he had extra crunchy taquitos and wanted to go down on me.. I mean how could I say no?
After I asked for my 6th Gin & Tonic, the look on the flight attendant's face started to make me feel bad about myself.
She was screaming and crying about how she couldn't find her middle finger. Then, she threw her body on to the pavement. Thats the last time we buy a freshmen a handle.
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