why isn't there a fb relationship option that says 'still banging my ex'
whenever he goes down on me he looks at me and I just want to poke him in the eyes
My dad just called from upstairs on the house phone to tell me to bring him a beer. You tell me how I am.
Got hereat 8. Had 6 beers 2 shots and a game of diZZY BATOS
She just called to say she can support a full bottle of vodka between "the girls" now. I'm going over, don't try and stop me.
The melted ice in my drinks tonight is probably the most water I've had in like 3 days accumulated.
I drink way too much to have a type. Last weekend I picked up a guy who calls me "baby girl"
I got a second ticket last night for drunkly using my one call to order a pizza and get it delivered at the police station
I broke out the Krispy Kreme, and am possibly having random internet sex in less than an hour. I think I got this breakup under control.
I may or may not have puked in the ladies room. Now I get to convince my client to go to substance abuse treatment. Oh, the irony.
So "I hate myself Mondays" has extended to Tuesday this week. I just had peanut butter and a glass of wine for lunch.
When you went off to sleep with that guy that looked like a dirty Jesus and I asked why all you had to say "trying to keep Christ in Christmas" and left. The Vatican called, you're going to Hell.
You don't marry someone you don't want to fuck senseless this is 2014 dammit
we just drove past a kid stuck in a tree what a wonderful time to be alive
Overall a good night - broke my toe giving that cop a blowjob though...so there's that...
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