guy in the car over is getting some terrible road head. he just gave me a thumbs down when he noticed i was watching.
my ex just saw me in his brothers bed. fuck yes revenge feels good
How is it that lesbians won't hit on me at a gay club, but they'll hit on me every time I go to Walmart?
I'm on my fifth double. This night is getting better whether it likes it or not.
Of course I'm hard in the pics. If there's a chance that these pictures will cause a scandal later in my life I at least want my dick to look it's biggest
Every time you come over you bleed on everything. I'm not calling Verizon again asking if blood is considered water damage.
Also, my drunkenly packed sleepover kit consisted of a singular sock, my uncharged laptop, and a pack of post-it notes.
You passed out while holding my hair during a blow job.. i think your gona have to earn back blow jobs
He returned my car yesterday. Found a duffel bag with beef jerky, condoms, and a handgun this morning. Slightly concerned
Yeah. I don't think I have anything left in me tho. I think I was throwing up tangible memories at one point.
we came into the house to find you doing shots by your self and when we told you to stop you locked yourself in the bathroom...
did I at least say anything...
you meowed at us and said you're a cat and cats drink for a living
im so hung over everytime my dog barks the sound vibration makes my whole body hurt
It was like, once I started flashing you, I couldn't stop.
if he ever tells me he loves me when we are sober, i am a goner. just fyi.
The coke machine at work is laughing at me. Literally. I just heard laughter from the coke machine
Randomize
