he just put it in my mouth and said "go"
and apparently i was drunk enough to follow up with "I'd let me touch your boobs" ... not my best line.
My vagina has officially become a vortex for sexually confused frat guys.
hearing that almost makes me feel good about peeing on the coffee table
Thanks for coming to the hospital with me, In return, I will buy you ecstasy.
I have to be more responsible. I've dropped three lighters into my bong today.
How do I tell your little brother I lost my virginity wearing nothing but his socks?
Formal letter or email.
also karaoke with swedish 7yr old and drunk 50yr old = best idea ever
WHY IS IT FROWNED UPON THE DRESS UP IN CAT COSTUMES AND SIT OUTSIDE OF BARS WITH A BOX OF WINE I THOUGHT THIS WAS AMERICA
I just my had my first cup of coffee in a week. I think I might orgasm.
Laying on my driveway in my pajamas in the sun having my severe hangover cigarette, and the daycare house across the street is having playtime in the yard! I believe I'm currently being what's known as a "bad example!"
I call bullshit
Call it what ever you want I just need to figure out how to get permanent marker off my cock
We were dancing and then he pointed to the club floor and there was money that I dropped everywhere. That was the nicest thing someone has ever done for me.
I watched one of the videos of you hanging from the rafters, and it is both violent and sexual in nature.
I’m inviting a few of my favorite manwhores to a pool party. Bring booze and wear your banana hammock so Amy can see what I’m always talking about
Randomize
