I mean, he's dancing back and forth between pathetically sad and massively fucking creepy.
Fun fact of the day the average american will consume 13248 beers in their lifetime.
So for us it's double that?
Precisely.
I'm pretty sure I'm almost gay. Like, I'd do it if I had no choice. Like, if i were in prison I'd try it.
just heard a tri-delta girl talking about her drunken escapades last weekend...it's like the exact plotline to a hardcore porno.
I just used my thong as a hair tie. I think I reached my limit.
I rarely go in there. Unless it's for mini cadbury eggs and whiskey.
Its not that I'm getting free haircuts... Its just that she is paying for sex with haircuts...
What if this is the rest of my life? Sitting at the bar waiting for someone to play Single Ladies
You can't find true love with Budweiser and a futon
Yeah. Rock bottom was him passing out and saying "are you putting a condom on me?" and me covering his mouth and saying shhhhh�
This must be what defeat feels like to Tom Brady today. I bet he wishes he could barf up all of his bad decisions from yesterday, too.
Had a dream I dropped the L word and immediately threatened to kill myself
You probably shouldn't be having nightmares about expressing affection
Googling enemas while I get a pedicure ... My life in one senence
is 250 jello shots considered an open container?
Vodka, MiraLAX and Gatorade are perfect for the night before a colonoscopy
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