she complimented my bra when we were hooking up. this lesbian thing has its upsides
Birthday was great, I got entirely too drunk and made really poor life decisions. It was everything a birthday should be.
He has a tattoo of a carebear. This is not happening.
He was with one girl when I went to bed, wad with another when I woke up and now he just told me he was with a 3rd in-between last night and this morning. Jesus Christ.
Their was just 7 people standing outside eating a costco chicken, definitley at the right party
I obviously couldn't but this on your fbook wall. I would get judge. I would willingly get tbagged by him. You can quote me on that.
Make this decision based on your love for dick - NOT based on the fact that its probably one of the worst things you've ever thought of doing
Morning yack off the fire escape. Girl walking by was mortified. Gooooooooo Ducks!!
I want to be you.
At least you have booty calls.
True. I just waste them though. I feel like I need to be told "there are people in this world who would give anything for just one and you have two." You know in that same tone your parents told you about the starving people in china
What's worse: not calling my parents in Dallas to make sure they're alright or not taking shelter to masturbate all over my douchebag roommates clothes?
I worry about you.
I just smoked weed out of a baked potato.
You rock my world.
THEIR PENISES MATCH. I JUST REALISED THAT. THEY HAVE IDENTICAL DICKS. OH GOD.
Hey, I left a taco in your dishwasher.
Can I get my morals surgically removed?
Did you have a good sleep?
if a good sleep includes waking up cuddling a bottle of wine I had a GREAT sleep
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