So apparently vaginal secretions are not covered under water damage insurance for my cell phone
I checked for jungle juice on Weight Watchers. they didn't have it.
we were doing it doggy-style and i felt him pop that pimple on my back.I have mixed feelings about it
I just got peed on. This karma circle is starting to get vicious.
i'd say i'm about at weeping-uncontrollably-in-a-puddle-of-my-own-tears-and-urine level
Why is there broken glass in my purse?
You stole a snow globe. From your VP. Soooo...maybe don't put all your hopes on that promotion you were expecting
Put some vodka in it
Its 7am
put some vodka in it
Pretty good. They took the stitches out but it still hurts like a bitch. The doctor says I should be off crutches by next week.
Well, that's good. Let's hope drunk you doesn't sabotage you.
You could woo kevin with a boquet of breakfast burritos. He loves those burritos. You could use the hot sauce packets like babies breathe
I'm sorry that running around town like a frenetic wombat trying to find you KY jelly isn't good enough for you.
I just need some of your time and all of your body.
being broke is really keeping my alcoholism in check
you pulled out seven eyelashes and made me count them multiple times whilst crying hysterically.
He told me that losing me was the biggest mistake of his life. Of course it was. My tits are incredible and I know more about college football than he does.
Dude no i feel my liver disintegrating
Randomize
