My ass is singing 4 different tunes right about now... Taco Bell was a bad idea!
i was taking the test and had to adjust my boner and my teacher thought i was cheating or something
look up what dreaming that you're in a lesbian relationship with a manatee means.
I found her in the trunk, smoking a cigarette, saying every girl should know how to get out of their trunk
I don't know what's happening. Everyone is wearing beaks.
She kept looking at me and saying "you are the scary high".
Oh god, so much rum. I think I was in a shotgun wedding with a Bacardi promotion girl.
Triple a is towing cars for free tonight and tomorrow night. Can we take advantage of this ?
She was to tired for head so she opted for a footjob with poor results. I dont want to talk about it
I'm starting to question if I'm gonna need to bring a raincoat just to drink around u
U act like I can cum on command
He had a drawn-on fu manchu and now my vagina has one too.
I love how four vibrators are within reach of me right now, but not a single hair brush or comb
but seriously, an anthropology paper shouldn't be hard if you're trashed, right?
My FitBit tracked the calories I burned during sex. Hello 2015!
You know you drink too much when the bartender at your favorite bar recognizes you at chipotle with your sunglasses on.
Randomize
