He is an equal opportunity slut.
i got turned down by a girl after she saw how big my penis was and she said "thats not goin in me"
you were leaning against the vending machine asking if there was a shower you could puke in.
I just found cold cuts in the blender. You and beefeater can no longer have unsupervised parties.
U handed him a box of flavored condoms, winked, and slurred, "grape juice is her favorite."
My professor just used the phrase "balls deep in your mind". My day is officially made.
They were actually really boring considering how we met them.
howd you meet them?
They got shit-faced and decided to take a train to a city none of them had ever been to. We found them wandering the ghetto, with a bottle of gin and singing Disney songs.
on a brighter note, the cop thought i could kick adams ass if it came down to that and said he had $20 on me if it ever happens
You're going to be mad because I got baked, but not that mad because I'm bringing home kfc.
I lose my morals, my dignity, and my selfie stick :(
I don't know. I just have an affinity for nudity when I'm drunk.
How the hell am I supposed to tell that to a group of eight year olds?! It was three in the afternoon for fucks sake!
I have a few Facebook friends I only keep around for quality control purposes on Tinder
He was 6'8" - I shit you not! He sat up in my bed and the ceiling fan got him right in the forehead.
You know its an epic night when omar the garbage man gives you a ride home at 6 in the morning.
My last Google search was 'can an impotent man have sex'. I don't even want to know what I did with that guy.
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