i blew a .213 what kind of thug blows the compton area code exactly? this guy
you got so mad from losing a game of beerpong that you went into another room by yourself and practiced for an hour and a half.
left comments onEVRY SINGLE1of my posts n status updates.Im done dating freshmen
Remembering I sold my brand new Blackberry to a stranger for a few pints = Worst night of my life. Now to work out what I did with my shoes.
I went on my dinner date pretending that my lunch date didn't jizz in my hair.
I want to own their dicks and all the attachments
You did it first. I was merely expressing my support for you, by pressing my testicles against a window.
The best part about drinking boxed wine is you can blow up the bag and use it as a pillow
Just saw a man downtown with a cat just riding on his shoulder like a furry parrot. He may be homeless, but I think he's your soul mate.
I called you a cum goblin in my voicemail. I stand by it.
No. I'm sorry but once your "would go gay for" list exceeds five people, you're bi. Get over it.
Are you drunk? You left me a voicemail at 5:59 AM of you making dolphin sounds.
Finally got with the virgin.
Yeah? Howd that go?
As soon as I got it all the way in, I looked deep into her eyes and said "your soul is mine" in the deepest voice I could make. She was not amused.
If you ever get divorced...would you call me??
Just bought shot glasses from the thrift store. I think the guy buying a winter coat was even judging me.
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