he was so hot that i framed the used condom. it's not trash, it's art.
i would never do something against you youre the best i ever had
please tell me you did not just intentionally quote drake..
So stoned I forgot I was masturbating and went to go get a cookie.
I have started doing my homework in bars. It just feels right.
We just had to use a designated driver to get to night class.
I decided that Calgary can keep my underwear. They earned it.
Blacked in riding a tandem bicycle with a stranger. We stopped for hot dogs.
I'll just tell your children you were the queen of drunk town and you had a giant purple monkey named bongo
You are a piece of meat with a side of awesome to me.
But college guys get to crossfade so there's that
No idea what that is
Like getting bent? When you drink and smoke together...
I'm 30 stop using your cool kids words
Me too, I feel like I pinched your nipples excessively. At the time it seemed like a good idea, but in retrospect I'm not so sure.
Dude, we got to the strip club as they were closing, and you starting crying because, and I quote, "This is the closest to birthday sex I'm gonna get."
I bought emergency contraception until I / we decide how to handle that. And target gave me a gift receipt for it. Awkward.
I swear she is the Mary Poppins of drugs
Be there in 20. Want icecream?
sex. I want sex. I like where your heads at though.
Randomize
