May have finally hit rock bottom...bouncer from the strip club informed me I wore the same shirt last night
the pool opens at 11. by 1115 the ambulance had been called.
I just wnated to let you know that I laminated my history notes so i can study in the shower.
woke up this morning to find the entire staircase covered in marinara sauce, with my roommate practically sobbing and scrubbing the wall with carpet cleaner.
She refused to give me a hand job while we were watching a war movie saying she didn't wanna disrespect the soldiers
Fastest blow job ever. Though it was probably a good thing since we were in front of my house.
I dont know if this is a good time to tell you but im actually a freshman.. not a senior
Also I had a dream we made my birth control into a joint. What does that mean?
He got a new tattoo in prison. It's actually a good tattoo, making it that much harder for me to hold out until he's off house arrest.
Just bc you put "its cute" at the end of it doesn't change the fact that u have called me a vag twice this morning and its only 10:03
So I may have to sleep with a cougar to get a slightly used, yet free microwave. I'm going in
Dick. I'll go round and break his windows. I've been watching Sons of Anarchy on Netflix.
He had a cruise ship of a dick and I need to set sail on that ocean again
His weed is so good that I don't wanna risk loosing him as my weed man so I plan to keep him in the friend zone 😂
only i would get off to receiving death threats online
Randomize
