I woke up to a text that said "You're a fucking asshole" Why is she so pissed at me?
Im guessing it has something to do with running up to her boyfriend screaming "THIS IS SPARTA" and kicking him in the balls.
Is that considered a cock block?
how was your day?
fuck the small talk. are you bringing the liquor tonight or am i?
I'm glad you trust me to be your sex stat keeper.
You can drink as much as you want but it's not gunna make her forehead any smaller
I was hoping it might at least fix her teeth
He was uncircumcised
It was like inception. A penis within a penis within a penis
She said we couldnt stop drinking until there were enough bottles to make a fort. so we could have sex in our "bottle castle"
Peanut butter balls.
IF YOU EVEN COME NEAR MY BALLS AGAIN I SWEAR TO GOD
Lesson learned the hard way. If it's a "no" on a dating site, it's also a no if you ever run into the person anyplace in public. It's a slap if you mention wanting to poke.
Then he kissed my hand sensually and said "you're a Black Queen. Don't let anyone tell you different."
I feel like a bottle of fireball rented a bull dozer and ran me over until I was left without a shred of my dignity
Google imaged your anal issues. Seems fuckable still.
Next time I pee on a car, I'll text you.
In my life time, I want nothing more than to get a blow job while watching Space Jam.
We havent had power for three days. What else is there to do besides drink and fuck? I thought that was obvious.
Yea she is hot. But she also had no toothpaste in her entire apartment.
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