Call meee
Ok, but just to warn you, I'm as drunk as a Kennedy right now...
Spotted on freeway- girl in ford focus takes a hit from a 7 inch pipe while knee driving. She winked at me. I want her life.
tip of the day : never have sex with a full bladder. it WILL lead to complications and a very unhappy partner.
Besides, I'm not in my 30's. I'm still allowed to drink wine from a bag.
you read me verses from the beginners bible until my answering machine finally ran out of time and cut you off.
Um yeah. I just puked. And found your contact.
Can we please get on skype for like 20 seconds so i can show you my penis and the spiderman temporary tattoo that is right above it
I'm glad that even though we are states apart our whorish hearts beat as one
I approve. Last time I was there, I left E's room to get a drink of water. Found M sitting on the kitchen counter in his boxers hammered and eating a banana. He proceeded to feed me the rest of his banana then went to bed with the lights on. You two will be great.
Well anyways I still cant believe I don't remember such a monumental day in history as you showing me your boobs... Jesus
What's goes good with Everclear?
Pepto-Bismol and a sandwich.
I was eating leftover taco bell in bed at 3 in the afternoon. I can't throw any stones
He called me Kitten either just because or he figured out my old s&m life. Either way huge turn on.
Text me some of your sweat
She grabbed a $20 bill out of my hand, calling it a lap dance coupon and then she dragged me into her bedroom. I think I’m in love
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