I just spent an hour correcting all the grammar and spelling of all the 2pac songs on my ipod
ugh, i have officially sinned in all of my cute clothes. i can't even wear any of them without feeling regret.
I really wish i had a penis so i could dick slap that bitch right now
Just realized the hot girl at the office got a boob job over the Holiday.....she is now super-hot girl.
how do i tell her that i need alcohol to fuck her but at the same time i cant get a hard on with alcohol.
Please do not make a facebook page for my hickeys.
maybe if I avoid him long enough we could skip the talking part of "we need to talk"
Since when do you jog?
Since hot shirtless guy that lives across the street jogs
note: just because the casino is called bourbon street, it doesn't mean you can puke and keep walking and no one will care. chalk me up for another 86
I think I ingested my vampire fangs last night.
I just wanna get high and take a fucking awesome nap. Those are my goals for the week.
i tried to break up pigeon sex because one looked too young to consent. fireball feminism ftw
YOU HAVE BEEN BAD TOUCHED BY THE LEPRECHAUN OF CHOICES
Always great to be boarding a plane when you realize that what you thought was gas is actually very untrustworthy
I'm listening to a women in metal station and wearing a flannel. I may have approached peak lesbian.
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