I guess what I'm trying to say is you've fucked more people than the economy.
I hope you shit your pants in a socially devastating situation.
i just realized i've hooked up with every boy in this taco bell
That's the classiest thing you've ever said.
hey got me stoned for the first time when i was 14. there is no bond stronger
Do you remember unrolling paper towels as a blanket?
I am now the only person in my apartment who hasn't had sex in my bed.
I think the duck is in my room. You have no idea how much worse a duck makes a hangover
the good news is that i vommed the last of my humanity last night.
welcome to the club.
These fuzzy pants work great for sleeping, taking an exam, getting baked and watching the hobbit. I guess i'm not changing pants for 72 hours.
I just had to kick out lesbian wedding crashers. They literally wanted to punch me. I threatened to call the cops so they went outside and smoked a joint.
She invited me to Bikini Yoga with her friends. Sounds promising.
Girl in my public speaking class just gave a speech on weaves, God I love community college
My vibrator box just fell off the table and hit my cat in the head, he is a little stunned. Good thing I went medium size
at any given day I am at least 60% invested in my work. today I am staggered around 3.5%
He screamed like a woman when he came then proceeded to sing "you [we] are the champion" by Queen. I think I'm in love.
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