I can't get out of the parking garage so now I'm staying downtown....Typical
I forgot i ate a salad for dinner, so while i was barfing in his toilet, i kept screaming "i ate leaves?? i cant believe you let me eat leaves!"
Do I need to let your sister outside to go pee or anything before I leave?
I just googled dawgpound, shoulda seen that pornsite coming
I'm drunk and I'm watching it's Alwyas Sunny and eating candy. Even I am jealosu of my life
I'm stoned in an empty parking lot listening to dave matthews while looking for a lighter.... I feel like I sent this 7 years ago.
I remember sucking his bleeding finger and then it's all black until he had his hand down my pants.
Yes, that's a picture of my balls. It isn't however an answer to my question.
After doing lines off my chest, she said, "do you even know how fast I could suck your cock right now?!!" and her friend said, "yea she totally could".
I feel like he knows I had a dream about him eating me out in the janitors closet at the holiday party. He's giving me THAT look.
I'm pretty sure that if I didn't have a gerbil with a shotgun in my uterus I would think i was knocked up cuz all I want is hot sauce
I feel a five day drunk coming on.
Matt and I's climactic adventure has ended with Matt being hauled off to jail. And now his brother and I are having lunch and a beer.
He has a baby picture of himself on the night stand. I don't think this whole 'one night stand' thing is for me.
Who in their right mind would frost a cake with their butt?
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