No, computers are like whores. moody bitches that cost too much and no matter how much protection you have you can still get a virus
is 69 when you're sideways or up & down? I was on my back & confused.
doing lines of blow through a tampon applicator in the study lounge at 7am so i can finish an italian composition that was due a week and a half ago...such a good student.
If you can't accept "I'm sorry I was mean to you" bjs from 19 year old girls, then who can you
Bc when the owner of your local gay bar and a drag king ask you to take them to a rival gay bar 2hrs away at 4 in the morning YOU GO.
he broke off your car antennae to use as a walking stick before he smoked because he claimed to lack the facial strength needed to open his eyes when he's high
Ps. I feel like I may pee myself this weekend. Either drunkenly or out of excitement. Toss up
Hootey the Owl eats a mean pussy.
Um, OK. WTF?
The guy from the Halloween party. We finally hooked up. Went down in me for 45 mins. Came 4 times.
there's a girl on facebook trying to buy me a pizza. I can't say no... right?
Thats just a parental red flag. They have been brainwashed. Lets baptize them into the church of PBR
30-degree weather + Metal Cockring Monday = really hard to pee.
You know you're getting old when 19 year olds you've met on tinder advise you that you should start looking for a wife and/or the mother of your children
My neighbor came out@4am in a pink nite gown n clotheslined a punk on a mo-ped w/her mop handle, then just walked back in her house like she just checked the mail. MILF 1 PUNK 0
Reading becomes significantly more difficult when people are having crazy loud sex in an adjoining room
And then he tried to convince me that he could wear a condom instead of pants to go out.
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