I have a client coming in and there's a note that says she wants her hair to like Elisabeth Hasselback's from the view
that's Oklahoma for you
Church boner. Awkwardddd
She always manages to outslut me. I can't keep up
The only reason I give him head is because I know i'll get a back rub.
wow.
But it's a REALLY good back rub.
Blacked out at the beach and unblacked out at a piano bar singing Tiny Dancer.
We opted you as the sacrificial dick tonight. We need our patron cafe. Go make some moves.
this speak and spell drinking game will be the death of us all.
What drink are we having for lunch?
My mom told me to get it out of my system now bc once I hit 30 it's not acceptable to get "white girl wasted".
Uh I almost got the bride to go down on me. I'm the smoothest maid of honor ever.
would it be okay if I showed up at your house naked? and is your door unlocked?
What's a nice way of saying 'I wish I hadn't fucked you.'
I feel like I'm in a astronaut outfit like I'm a spaceman & I'm just floating around cause that's all you do in space is float and I'm floating to be in detail
Houston we have a problem
You started singing Baby Shark, screamed you have no idea how it goes, then somehow turned the beat into Bohemian Rhapsody
it will be a surprise...all I can say is stripper clown.
Randomize
