hell yes lets make some ravioli
I've had a Margarita with salt, but I have to say I was impressed by the Stoli and Sprite rimmed with adderall
im at that stage where all she has to do is cough or something and it pisses me off
arguing about whether his trip to england or my trip on acid was better
If there was a god I would have a big mac right now, but i don't
If there is a god, you will have pink eye tomorrow.
We decided to cut you off after you insisted on eating peanuts by the dumpster
I learned 3 things lastnight....1. Turkeys are related to the t-rex. 2. Whales have leg bones cause they used to walk. 3. I will sing drunk in the waffle house, but not during karaoke in the bar
Okay. We're coming naked. We need Saran wrap and plastic forks.
its not that I hate him, it's just that I wish his penis was attached to someone i like more
His balls are like really small, like dog sized balls. It was a weird discovery. Ever done a guy with dog sized balls?
Totally forgot I asked the cop for a theoretical fist bump and he still let me drive away
if anyone knows where my shirt is please let me know and if you know why I don't have my own shirt please also let me know. also do any of you know why I'm missing a bra wire?
"Masturbate" is an actual item on an actual ToDo list of mine. It is at the top.
I woke up with jello shots in pant pockets so I must've had fun
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