If a guy called my cleavage "mesmerizing" but is kinda related to me, does it still count?
i swear to god, this restaurant is playing a john tesh cover of a song from aladdin
No. one of us needs a degree and I am already the alcoholic friend. I can't do everything
Whatevss it will be funn .. Hopefully no one projectile vomits on the wall again.. Its kinda become a tradition though
1.) where are you? 2.) you making meatballs? 3.) Meatballs for sex?
I just wanted to share with you that my life has come to naked arts and crafts, to fix my flask, with a rum and coke in my hand... Good luck on your exam
I will give you 100$, a blow job a day for a month and I will shave my legs according to societal standards until next November if you come recuse me from my night class right NOW.
Send me a pic of your kids to remind me why I have morals.
Drunk texting is the poetry of my life
That moment during finals day when you either convince your teacher to let you out of the room or you shit you pants.
Oh you know, the usual. We had a good date, I took her back home, she took off my pants, laughed, and left.
Come share oat with me in your robe
How many times is too many times to use the word 'fuck' in my thesis?
There's glitter all over his bed from my Pink VS panties... I think I might invest in similar styles as a way of marking my territory just incase.
You kept running around yelling "I need my pajamas" & then you got naked. Shit just went downhill from there.
Randomize
