i told him im from Canada, abortion is free
She put her phone in her underwear and it somehow managed to work it's way into her vagina. she has a BLACKBERRY.
I understand Curling. That high.
He violated my cat. I was not impressed.
they arrested me when i was peaking, i'm pretty sure they were specifically looking for me but i was too busy rolling around, loving the grass to notice the police car..
We woke up under the ping pong table holding hands.
You blacked out and walked in on my neighbor breast feeding at 3am yelling "where is my best friend". I think we should go apologize.
how many thumbs am i supposed to have at one time
you found the shrooms didnt you
But I do know they give away thousands and thousands in booze
My liver has a boner
Chicks before dicks must only mean American dicks
I feel like a girl who eats her problems away with fast food.
When all else fails, you can always look down at your enormous penis.
I was going to say "wearing plaid doesn't make you gay, I wear plaid!" but then... heavy sigh
I feel like the dump I just dropped is the most successful thing I've done so far today.
We broke my graduation cords last night when we used them to tie each other up during sex last night
I smell of tequila and Im going to a funeral. This is my life.
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