wanna go halves on a baby?
He called me an ungrateful bitch because I lauged when he asked me "how do you me and a bed sound?"
Like I should be grateful for the 5 minutes I sit on top of him and stare at the wall.
I need to stop coming to work sober
Was it cool?
About as cool as only getting a handjob on your honeymoon.
Classy. Drunk on alcoholic "energy drink" at work before 8 am on a Tuesday. Between that and hanging out in bars with no pants on, your life is beginning to sound like a Bukowski novel.
So when I got her home I realized being a lesbian again isn't like riding a bike...
I have to have sex with him again. I feel like I need to train him so no other girl experiences that bad of sex.
There were slices of bread pasted to the wall with peanut butter this morning. I don't want to know
Bisexual Viking-cowboy hybrid is at the bar again
Dibsssss
I feel like his penis would have a weird haircut because he does.
GUESS WHO GOT ABSOLUTELY WASTED LAST NIGHT AND SPENT AN HOUR RAMBLING ABOUT KRAFT DINNER, HOCKEY, AND THE LAST TEMPTATION OF CHRIST
I have walked into stripper central, but I'm on the street at 1:00 in the afternoon
My "lord keep me from stabbing a bitch" prayer has gotten a lot of miles today
I kind of really want to call off the engagement but I kind of need his mom's mashed potatoes on thanksgiving so I'm between a rock & a hard place here
boys just don't understand what they're missing out on.
he's missing out on my boobs looking marvelous this evening.
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