There is a man on the balcony beside me who claims he is a triceratops. He roared and asked me for a cigarette, telling me he'd eat me if I refused. I love college.
xbox live and facebook are tricking me into believing I actually have an active social life
I don't plan to be alive for 2010 so ima say this 12 hours early. Happy New Year bitches
Watching the 1st game of the world cup. I'll drunk dial you at 8:30 to wake you up for work.
Just chased ups truck with a half wiped ass for you. You're making dinner tonight
The drunken tricycle race really added some class to the Tour de Franzia. Until everyone wiped out and started puking.
Somehow ended up at a stranger's bridal shower. Everyone else is already drunk.
We where late for the party because we spent the last hour staring at a towl becase we thought it was a raccoon
So are you still down for me to come stay with you and just have sex on vicodin all weekend?
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I already ran out of vodka but I have more beer. I just ran naked into the high school party down the street as took all theirs. ...figured no one wants to tackle the naked guy..
Look, when i woke up this morning, I had every intention of being a responsible twenty-five year old, cleaning up, making my budget, and filing my taxes. Its just I got siderailed by pot and downloading classic Disney songs, because fuck adulthood; everyone loves Disney.
You used your chihuahua as a pillow screaming "HE'S A PILLOW AND A PET" and proceeded to puke in the dog bed
I lost Mario kart three times but I got laid so it wasn't the WORST night I've ever had.
Slept with the roommate last night and also discovered that she believes in eugenics. I may need to slow down my drinking
my roommates gone so i can take codeine and sleep naked
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