four guys that i have slept with have come into my job today. FOUR. i feel like it's like bring your sex partners to work day.
she walked in on me snorting my prozac. there was no way to convince her i was doing a good thing.
Someone just asked me if ur the girl that fell through the floor. I HAD to say yes.
I feel more comfortable going down on her then actually kissing her.
Dude, fuck the siberian warm up. You can't put vodka in hot chocolate. Learn from my mistakes
I am as serious as getting herpes in Mexico...
What do herpes have to do with anything?
Should I have a moral quandary about Skyping topless with him while his son slept in the other room?
Then again, I'm single and napping with a stuffed yoda doll...so I'm not the world's authority on shit.
the last thing i remember was the norwegian kid tacking a bag of wine to the ceiling, then boom! shower drain.
Woke up in the ER with a nurse holding my tongue together inside of my mouth and a shattered jaw, the last thing I remember is opening the 151, care to fill me in?
RAAAAAAAAWWWWRRRRRR
THATS ME HOWLING MY ENJOYMENT OF THE THINGS WE CAN DO WHILE GETTING DRUNK
He actually said the words 'I miss you' followed by 'I wanna have sex with your face'. I'd say that's a win.
He said 'I really struggle with the sin of lust' then we proceeded to have sex. So I guess it was a perfectly executed Catholic pick up line?
Just stole my moms weed, left a note saying sorry.. Hope she isn't mad.
Almost gave myself a concussion stealing a stuffed unicorn hanging on a street sign but hey I got home safe
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