I am at the gas station and there is a whole amish family here I'm not sure why the amish need gas but I think its worth investigating
We had sex this morning and after she goes, " So are we going to do something for Valentines Day?"
Literally just spent 45 minutes converting my paintball gun to shoot condoms....
I have no idea how to attract men with my personality anymore. He can't see my tits via facebook chat
You always know it is going to end badly when a guy asks if he met you at a "coed naked lawn bowling party"
You have all of her herpes and none of my sympathy
after tonight, seriously nothing could taste better than toothpaste
Seriously my only wish tonight is to be at the club in a sombrero w my shirt off pouring tequila on bitches titties
Basically I don't wanna put on pants...but I'm stoked for drinking my face off tomorrow.
And I told him that even though were not together, if he has sex with anyone I would have sex with someone else, video tape it and send it to him.
As I was puking, these 2 guys started peeing next to me chanting me on
I don't trust him but hanging out with him might be fun
he's literally satan but yeah probably
I'm so sorry to hear about your grandmother. Also how many grams are in an eighth?
I imagine you as a cat holding your burrito with two paws and cutely eating it
I want to ride that like one of the Horsemen of the Apocalypse- with bourbon in hand and without mercy.
Randomize
