I know, he also has a fancy car to make up for his tiny penis
If you weren't supposed to have sex with your ex then they wouldn't rhyme.
As weird as that was it was probably the best advice i've ever gotten from a tranny
They had to restock the bar 3 times before midnight. There is a bridesmaid dress hanging in a tree outside.
Somewhere between yelling how am I gonna make it to my flight and more titie shots I stopped caring
hung over. covered in somebodies makeup. and ready to drink.
I have to deal with three things I do not like this weekend. Pooping in toilets that are not mine. Air mattresses. Not beating off in the shower.
Apparently coming home smelling like I took a bath in beer is frowned upon in this household. I'm so glad I don't actually live here.
At IHOP. It feels weird and sad that your cleavage isn't here for me to try to toss paper wads into.
I puked and rallied in front of a cop...and then waved at him....
I find it weird that you'll let me in your vagina, but not your house
Baruch atah adonai DAT ASS DOE
Get here now. I need a drinking buddy. I don't care if you're in a different timezone, it'll be five o clock here faster.
I'm covered in jizz and the toll booth lady knew it
You took a bite of the snack wrap put it down and fell asleep and when you woke up ten minutes later you asked how it got there, dipped it in soda ate it and fell back asleep.
Randomize
