yo my bday is less then one week away. hope youve found another annoying candian i can lick dairy products off of. also sorry about your loss
I accidentally threw away from slim jim and some lady saw me dig it out of the garbage. It was unopened but still, I look so homeless.
Gravity stopped and i'm discussing Greek philosophy with two guys I don't know. There's someone asleep on me. We need to use their dealer.
Walked into my campus store carrying a pitcher of sangria. No fucks given. Also this recipe is banging.
He is so sweet! He thanks me for sending him dirty pix. I should keep him.
The whole bar erupted and in happiness and confusion as I went on about pancakes.
a guy just walked through our campsite, crouched down by the truck, screamed "ACID ONLY LASTS FOR 8 HOURS RIGHT?!", then ran off into the bushes
I am going to paint butt plugs like little Christmas trees and give them as gifts.
You could paint cock rings as wreaths.
Well, if it's rabies, your lips will swell just prior to the frothing. Get a lot of good pics!
Gez, you make a couple noises and all of the sudden your the loud girl.
Two of us got arrested. Gonna be delayed a bit. Save me a burger.
I just got baptized.
Drunkenly skinny dipping in a indoor hotel pool is not okay and does not count as a baptism.
Now, I know I say this a lot, but you've obviously never seen my penis.
I have to have boobs, you have the charm and wholesomeness that gets boyfriends... And i have boobs
I’m not lawful evil! I do evil things because I want to, not because of the law
Randomize
