Say my name once during sex just to fuck with her. Like when it gets rough.
2 classes, 3 finals, and $30 worth of adderall until this semester is over.
Haha its ok. When we got back you sat in the car and attempted to tell me in sign language you were blacked out lol
How can he have such a manly penis and baby hands?!
Grad practice is like a live scrapbook of my drunken sexual encounters
I think I have vodka in my lungs
How do people deal with hangovers? I literally want to eat my own face.
Honestly, I've had enough of his asshole to last me the new year.
Please tell me you're talking about his personality.
What's the sex policy on a school bus? Because I dibs back seat.
Sex allowed. Dress code is neon and obnoxious.
We are gonna die. I wanna enforce the "no jumping out of moving vehicles" policy. And how are we gonna get a school bus through mcdonalds drive thru?
You'd be proud! I didn't lose my id this time... It got confiscated
SOMEONE has to puke in the potted plants at an Xmas party. As their boss I felt it should be me.
want to know what my life has come to? I just took a 45 min shower banging on the walls and making loud sex noises so my neighbors think I get some.
The internet was right. Snorting muscle relaxers is awful
Actually I really wish that I was drinking so I could ask him for breakup sex and then later blame it on my alcoholic tendencies. Maybe tomorrow instead.
I have only been here for a week and might contributed to a dumpster fire on accident.
Randomize
