I think about you every night.
I'm sorry.
I woke up with dick mouth, a raw vagina, an empty bottle of vodka and the best man next to me. I also found my thong by the pool. Best.Wedding.Ever.
I got kicked out because I puked again I'm on the fire truck outside
Apparently there was a point in the night that they literally thought he was dead, ass naked on the floor. That bad.
He showed up drunk to my cousions HS grad party, we stayed at the bars till 2, then he got up at 5 to run a half marathon and by the time I woke up wlhe was already back and drinking.
Some guy dressed like Santa just handed me a bottle of tequila. I NEVER WANT TO LEAVE CANCUN
She asked me to go inside, make myself a drink and slip into something a little more naked.
Do you know what your brother wants for his birthday?
Yeah he said he wants a decent blowjob for a change.
.......
I'm just looking out for you.
Hate to say it and even though I definitely have a biased opinion but I'm surprised your not, sleeping with anyone else. Good personality, charisma and amazing in the sack.
Feel free to use me as a reference.
He asked for a foot job. Whatever. I guess I'm swimming in new slut waters tonight.
I found him in his pink and white boxer out side the dorm hall and the only thing he said was "it wouldn't let me in"
Wow I got tittyfucked by the American Dream
I'm talking to this guy I met online about French toast. I am the oddest fucking combination of hungry and horny. Wtf brain.
I may not have my dignity, pride or sanity but I have my pants.
This is the fourth guy that I've broken in to gay sex. How the hell do they find me?
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