You drinking a lot?
No.
Define a lot
handjob tips. give me some.
No dude, you can't hot box a bus shelter.
My dick just stopped my iPhone from falling into the toilet.
My glasses smell like tequila. I just put them on and almost threw up.
I mean, once you get beat with a dildo you can't look at someone the same
Are we hungover?
I got a lapdance from a gay guy in red uggs and spandex shorts with reindeer antlers on. And I don't remember it. Hungover does not even cover it.
I walked in her room to find her rubbing lotion on her face high as fuck.
I believe you would have been proud of me last night.. I was chasin Fireball shots with Jack and Coke. Guess there's a reason they call me Whiskey Woman.
Whoever was doing lines off my iPad is a dick. Also bring Gatorade, for I hunger
For Who flesh?
That said I did get head on the roof of a 15 story building which, regardless of quality, is still cool
Between fucking and sleeping I woke up missing four out of five of the earrings I was wearing. It's like a star rating system. I had to give him props.
He had a small dick anyway. I'm glad I barfed on it.
You started yelling about vegans ruining the world. Because we drove past some cows eating grass.
Wtf can everyone stop fucking in my grandma's bed? This is like the third time
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