Afterall, it is the real San Francisco treat
i have absolutely no control over my now miserable and whore-ish lifestyle.
Every night before bed, when I used to say prayers, now I just think to myself 'freshman sluts. Soon'
All i learned in high school was how to sell drugs
Dude you can't just initiate a threesome via twitter
this kid woke up on our hotel floor and doesnt know how he got here
on my way back.. me and that kid will be great friends
Hey, no judgement here...this is the girl that threw up on a box of kittens at the magician's house
dude wearing that thong all day was not worth the 7 bucks
Just found my old bop it. So many drinking game possibilities
Also, I imagined that his bacne was bubblewrap and that made it much more tolerable
Apparently I yelled "no stop it" in my sleep last night when he tried to cuddle with me.
Oops, guess its official. I just use him for sex.
FYI, grandma is already drunk and using a bed sheet as a table cloth.
The attempted closet masturbation was unforgivable.
That was the most fucked up I've ever seen him. He had the fucking Canola Oil!
It's starting to get sad how I have this 'new beginning' feeling after every negative pregnancy test
I'm so gassy and it's your fault.
Randomize
