Just had to reach into my sister's bag and shut off her vibrator so my parents wouldn't hear it. I am the world's greatest brother.
dude. i was so high. i watched shrek in russian.
you are hot. that is all.
who is this?
the delivery driver from silvermine.
you got so mad from losing a game of beerpong that you went into another room by yourself and practiced for an hour and a half.
It was the gentlest way I could hit on a girl who just got hit by a car
You layed on my kitchen floor with a pile of m&ms at your crotch, said "your lightbulb don't match, is that one new?"
You kept me hostage in your driveway until you got your point across that alaska has warm weather
Just because you can put your penis in it does not make it "good stuff".
Dont care what i do tnt just as long as i get to chug a beer in somebodys face
Well I just found the most comfortable way to pass out on my toilet if I ever have to.
Its a good thing to know for upcoming events.
That shot was terrible
You were like one of those guys at carnivals that spit out fire..... Except it was throw up
I'm stuck in a tree and request your assistance ASAP
I FLASHED A GUY AT MCDONALDS FOR A FREE BREAKFAST BURRITO. IT WORKED!
i just want to cuddle, make out and maybe have a boob grabbed but no. someone has to have mono.
THREE MINUTES! THREE MINUTES PAST MIDNIGHT I STSRT HEARING CHRISTMAS MUSIC ON THE OVERHEAD PA SYSTEM!!!
Randomize
