those are such fre$h shoes
going to ignore the use of the word "fresh" in a sentence that isnt related to produce and/or other food stuffs and especially the part where you replaced an "s" with a dollar sign
I sharted during my first quiz and I couldn't leave, I went ahead and took the rest of the day off.
i just heard Winston Churchill in auto-tune. thank you nerds.
you poured 3 beers into an empty vase and then passed out, so i drank them for you. don't say i'm not a good friend.
you're a mystery wrapped in an enigma. wrapped inside a burrito.
Sometimes when I see a shoe on the side of the road, I get a little depressed that I've never partied that hard.
So help me Jesus we're never drinking together again. But weekends don't count. Amen.
They sext over her pic comments. Role playing as wolves.
Her vagina smelt so bad I lied and told her that I was married just so that she would leave.
Teasing with taco bell is not funny. High or sober.
All I really remember is shouting "THANKS FOR LETTING ME MAKE OUT WITH YOUR GIRLFRIEND."
What can I say? You have this amazing power over straight girls.
Hows cali? I thought of you as I shaved 1/4 of my legs last night.
i need to put some appletini on your dick
How I know we're old. Don knows the owner. The owner said 'How about some shots?' We said no thanks. He looked puzzled and came back later and said 'You know it's on the house?' We said 'Yeah, no thanks.'
If he sends me a dick pic so help me god.
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