My milkshake brings 85 to 90 percent of the boys to the yard
I'm in that akward stage between jailbait and cougar
she was screaming in french about how classy it was to be drinking wine. oh... she was drinking it out of the bottle. with a beer in her other hand while throwing up.
he was sending me dirty texts but i was watchin nickeloden and couldnt get into it
im ashamed your my cousin
I just spread your mom's ashes with my new girlfriend. I wouldve waited for you to fly home but she was uncomfortable in the house with her remains there. I'll mail you the urn since u handpainted it.
YOU HAVE A GIRLFRIEND ALREADY!?! WTF WE JUST HAD HER FUNERAL 3 WEEKS AGO!!!!!!!!!!!!
I was so scared, I actually heard my grandmother's voice in my head saying if I get pregnant, then my vagina will fall off. And then I'm going to die.
she both took care of me and took advantage of me. it was BEAUTIFUL.
If this week is any indication of my life here I've got to get out ASAP. My liver can't hack it.
I had to help some 40 year old women shoot down some 21 year old who called her his "milf fantasy"
Pavlovs bj experiment 2012. Welcome to the program.
God he's so convenient, drugs, an parties all in one person. He's like the Walmart of delinquency.
You pissed off the back deck while listening to the national anthem from your phone screaming America Fuck Yea to my neighbors
Next time someone asks you what your spirit animal is do you really want to answer the iowa state fair butter cow?
If you don't see me at the bar tomorrow night, I was most likely captured by the communists.
i have a serious question for you... Why I am i not wearing any pants?
Randomize
